The True Story of a COMPLETE Fraud
by Hermione and Secretdestiny
Summary: The true story behind Rita Skeeters lies.
1. Default Chapter

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A/N:

Hermione: Hi!

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Secretdestiny: Penguins are pretty. 

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Hermione: I say 'Hi!' and all you can say is 'Penguins are pretty'!

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Secretdestiny: Ok then the sky is pretty

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Hermione: Grrrrrrr

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Secretdestiny: The sky is high and you said "hi" and up high in the sky where penguins do not fly is preetty

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Hermione: double Grrrrrrr. Anyways, this is a really short chapter

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Secretdestiny: Yea, well, we just want to know if people will like it. Because you know, we don't want to waist our time writing if nobody likes it, we could be doing other important things with our valuable time!"

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Hermione: Like reading fanfiction, I absolutely love Ron/Hermione stories 

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Secretdestiny: I absolutely love penguins

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Hermione: you don't love me!

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Secretdestiny: Of course I do! Even more then chedder, but I love reviews more.

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Hermione: me too, so the point were trying to make is…

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Hermione and Secretdetiny: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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~*~!~*~ The True Story of a Complete Fraud ~*~!~*~

"What's your name?"

"Rita Skeeter"

"What did you hear?"

"Everything" at this answer everyone exchanged worried glances.

"Why were you spying?"

"Mostly for the money, but some" at this she looked at Hermione "for vengeance"

"Were you always like this?" asked Harry

"Very interesting question Harry, but not completely necessary."

"No, but I have a right to know why she is such a bitch!."

"Very well, Rita you may continue."

And the stories began.

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A/N: _REVIEW!!!!!!!_

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Hermione: by the way, we do not own Harry Potter characters, we do not own these words, or letters for that matter, all we own is the order in which they appear.


	2. The diary

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Author's note: 

Hermione: Hi again peoples

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Secretdestiny: We went over this before the sky is pretty.

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Hermione: I said nothing about the sky!

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Secretdestiny: You said hi and the sky is high, we definitely had this conversation before.

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Hermione: I said hello

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Secretdestiny: The ground is pretty

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Hermione: ::rolls eyes:: Not again!

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Secretdestiny: Knots are not pretty! They are frustrating!

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Hermione: yes but garlic knots are yummy

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Secretdestiny: Do you know what the prettiest thing in the world is

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Hermione: Yes

Secretdestiny and Hermione: _REVIEWS_

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Hermione: And do not just review once review every chapter because if you don't we think you were just being nice and you hate our story and us. Review even if you just have to say this is good.

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Secretdestiny: We get the point REVIEW

"Nobody ever really liked me. Why would they? I wasn't a beauty, with thick fingers, a heavy jawed face, and frizzy hair. Intelligence, there was none. Talents, there were none…well except for one thing, writing. I can't count the number of days I stayed in my room, my sanctuary. First I wrote into a diary, my diary, the only thing I felt was mine. It was no secret, I hated my mum. Every little thing in my room, somehow felt like it was hers, it was bought with her money. Not the diary, my father bought it for me with the little money he had. We kept it a secret from my mum; she disapproved of keeping secrets that's what she said a diary was a book full of secrets and deceit. My father said "What she doesn't know won't make her hurt us." And so, I began to write…

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Dear diary,

Today at school over the announcements, I heard they were going to start a news paper club. I know I am perfectly useless, but if there's one thing in the world I could do, it would probably be writing. My daddy said I'm his star, I don't know about that, right now I feel very dim, maybe this is the one thing that will let me shine. 

See you latter

Dear diary,

We had to tryout for The Newspaper, I submitted a piece about abusive parents. My dad said that writing is the best when taken from life experiences. I didn't think the writing was good, I was wrong as usual, but in this case it's a good thing, I'm in! Watch out sky, here comes a new star.

Bye

Dear diary,

The funniest thing happened in school today, someone talked to me! Her name is Marisa, she said she loved the column I wrote. The Newspaper club loved my beginning entry so much that they submitted it. I got invited to her birthday, I have never got invited to a party before! Well except my own, but no one showed up! She is coming over after school tomorrow. Writing has helped me make a friend.

Dear diary,

I loved having Marisa over, she thought it was strange I did not have many toys. We talked a lot, she was mostly interested in my writing. Her parents are divorced and she does not get much attention. She told me that I should not focus my attention only on physically abusive parents, but parents the abuse in any nature. She said she knew a lot of kids in different circumstances but their parents were abusive in some way. I know what my next newspaper article will be about


	3. The First Article and The Last

**The First Article and The Last…__**

**A/N:**

**SD:** I want to take this authors note to thank the reviewers out there

**H: **yeah, me too ::looks around, sees SD playing got your nose with my eyeglass case, turns back to the computer and whispers:: don't tell SD I said this but hi!

**SD:** As if I could not read! But for the good of the readers I  will not give my "pretty sky speech"

**H: **YES! THANK GOD!

**SD:** HOW SEXIST! HOW DO YOU KNOW GOD IS A GUY?! IT SHOULD BE THANK GOD/GODDESS!

**H: **I KNOW THAT! But I forgot ::smiles sheepishly::

**SD:** Enough idle talk! It is time to humbly thank our reviewers

**H: **Oh, right, our first review for last chapter was Hermione and Secretdestiny

**SD: **Umm… Hermione that is us.

**H: **Huh…oh, yea! Then our first review for last chapter(that isn't us) is dracosprincipessa, "This is a good story. I really don't like Rita but I do like seeing a new side to her. Update soon." I really don't like Rita either, but its fun to write from her POV. Don't worry, we will (hopefully).

**SD:** The next reviewer was ZagZig722, "It's cute so far, but kinda short and the first chappie was kinda hard to understand" The one thing you HAVE to know about me and my friend here. Is that we LOVE to confuse people…

**H:** 2+2=6!

**SD:**…RIGHT! So in our writing as well as real life we TRY to confuse people. In fact we both feel like failures if at least the first and last chapter did not have that "air of mystery" As PrincessJenifer said.

**H: **speaking of PrincessJenifer, she was our next reviewer! "Hi! It's me. The one of you who prolly reads my fics knows who i am (don't know which one of u that is! Sorry!)." SD and I both read your stuff and we LOVE IT! "I like penguins. Penguins are pretty. My cursor is a penguin. Anyways..." OH NO! Not another penguin fanatic! First SD now you, what is this world coming to? "This first chapter, even though it was short, is still great. I mean, if you'd have carried on wit it after the point you stopped, then the air of mystery would totally not be be there. Wow, don't i sound professional?!" I am glad someone understands our writing style! And you sounded very professional!  "Lol. Great chapter. It doesn't matter how long or short they are either, it's your choice and your choice alone hoe long the chapters are. On to read chappie 2... Wow! So great! I love getting reviews. They kick a$$. You know what else i like? Jelly Beans. Yep. I think jelly bean funiture would be pretty fun."  lol, Me too "Anyways, great chapter. It';s pretty weird reading ritas diary. Carry on! Please! Your on my favs. Luv and hugs~  
~*~Princess Jennifer~*~" Aww, thanks we LOVE reviews and praise, so keep it up! 

**SD:** Our next reviewer was michelleywelley. You said, "It is an interesting idea so far. I think your first chapter should have been a bit clearer on what exactly what was going on maybe had a description of where they were and why they were talking to Rita and everything."  WE WANT IT TO BE VAUGE AND MYSTTERIOUS!. "Hermione, I mentioned longer chapters to you with your last story and I feel the same about this one." Hermione and I feel that each chapter represents a part in the characters life. We do not like to force long chapters. I am a strong believer in short and sweet!  "Also, how old is she supposed to be when she's writing the entries?" Do not worry! All things will be revealed in good time! "Anyway, it's going all right so far but I hope you have some good stuff planned because I think its a good idea for a story." Thank you for the critics and flattery! ****

Original Interview 

Rita Skeeter: What Problem do you have with your parents?

Anonymous: They don't pay that much attention to me.

RS: do you have any idea why?

A: well, I know for sure that my dad comes home late from work, and drinks a little.

RS: Where does he work?

A: Um, I don't know.

RS: Does your mom work?

A: yes.

RS: What does she do?

A: she dances.

RS: Oh. So she's a dancer?

A: not exactly.

RS: What do you mean by 'not exactly'?

A: She's sort of a dancer, she dances with men for money.

RS: I see. Thank you for your time.

_Rita edited_ Interview 

Rita Skeeter: What Problem do you have with your parents?

Anonymous: They _emotionally abuse me_.

RS: Do you have any idea why?

A: well, _my dad works insane hours and is a major alcoholic_.

RS: Where does he work?

A: _He never tells me anything_.

RS: Does your mom work?

A: yes.

RS: What does she do?

A: she_'s a prostitute_.

RS: I see. Thank you for your time _Marisa_.

Dear Diary,

I tried to hand in the interview after I edited it. The teacher said it was inappropriate for school, and that I needed to re-edit. I asked Marisa to edit it for me, because I didn't where the problem was. I hope she can find it, because I really want to be a journalist. 

**Marisa edited** Interview/Interview that appeared in the paper 

Rita Skeeter: What Problem do you have with your parents?

Anonymous: They**'re concerns cloud their attention towards me and I am often dismissed**.

RS: do you have any idea why?

A: **My dad often comes home late from work drunk**.

RS: Where does he work?

A: **[No comment]**.

RS: Does your mom work?

A: yes.

RS: What does she do?

A: she dances **with men**.

RS: I see. Thank you for your time _Marisa_.

Dear Diary,

It's official I'm kicked off the newspaper club.  The weird thing is, everyone loved my article, it's only the stupid teacher who has a problem with it.  Me and Marisa made a promise to never write or talk badly about a friend. That's going to be the only rule once we start our new newspaper club, surprisingly, everyone wants to join.  This is officially the best day of my life!

Dear Diary,

This is officially the worst day of my life! I'm…umm…in this world…I give up, there's no pretty way to say this but, my dad died.

**A/N:**

**H: **If you didn't get it while reading, the Italics are what Rita changed from the original, the Bold is what Marisa.

**SD:** Well DUH! Its as easy as 2+2!

**H:** You know what's even easier SD?  

**SD: **What could possibly be easier then 2+2?

**H: **Sending a REVIEW! You just click the little button that says go to left of the button that says SUBMIT REVIEW, so what I'm really saying is REVIEW! (not responsible for subliminal messing)


	4. Finding a Missing Piece

**H**: Hello

**SD**: at least you didn't say hi this time I think u learned your lesson

**H**: [sarcasm]gee thanks![/sarcasm]

**SD**: we should thank the peoples right?

**H:** of course thanks peoples!

**SD**: haha you know what I mean

**H:** yes why don't you start

**SD:** Thank you for REVIEWing **michelleywelley**. I'm happy that I'm not a wall, now you will know why it was 'mom' instead of 'mum', and my excuse…I mean explanation for the capitalization is that its all Hermione's fault!

**H:** Hey! I resent that! Anyways, Thank you for the REVIEW **Dracosprincipessa** and here is your update! I'd also like to thank **PrincessJennifer** and of course we aren't getting sick of you(well I speak for myself, I'm not sure about SD) Tank you so much for letting us use our own style of writing unlike another person!(jk) once again you claim you sound too professional, but that's a good thing, isn't it? Well maybe you had a good Easter, but has it ever crossed you mind that we may not be Christian? Cuz I'm Jewish, and SD is half Jewish so, you should have included Passover too. Well the penguins are SD's area, and I agree with you on the Jellybean furniture, only if it was made out off yummy flavors.

**SD**: Now, **DiggaDigga**, we would, but fanfiction would yell at us and take away our name thingy privileges. Okay good night.

**H:** ::prods SD with a stick:: hum, she is dead asleep, ooooooooooo, perfect time to take over that story and stop writing it MAHAHAHA!

**SD**: Okay good night bye bye Hermione

**H**: Well I AM going to take over the story and there is nothing you can do to stop me! MAHAHAHAHAH!…except, REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!

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**Finding a Missing Piece**

"What does your dad dying have to do with You being what you are!" yelled Harry Tonks who wad rather board with the story was now changing her hair color, it was currently bright green.

"Well my dad was just the beginning, It seemed as though all the people close to me had…"

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:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)!(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm so glad I can stay in Inwood with my best friend. Of course there was a little work on my grandma's side. 7 thousand dollars worth. But my grandma just wanted me to be happy, she was from my dad's side. She told me that I better enjoy this year with my friends because next year I'll have to make new ones. I didn't get what she meant by that, Marisa and I are going to the same Middle school: Lawrence Middle School. Also speaking of strange things, my grandma gave me a little gold key and said it was in my fathers will. Marisa thinks I should throw it out. But, I decided to keep it, it's one the only thing I have left of my dad._

_Dear Diary,_

_I love Marisa and everything, but her family is just AHHHHHHH! They called in the local Priest and tried to perform exorcist on me. Halfway though the ceremony the remaining holy water somehow ended up on the Priest, luckily the Priest said that the devil had left me. Oh joy I can die happy knowing I'll go to heaven._

_Dear Diary, _

_I'm sorry I haven't been writing, I have been so wrapped up in writing articles. Well, it's almost the end of the school year, ONE WEEK LEFT! _

_Dear Diary, _

_I found out what my grandma meant today. I, Rita Skeeter am going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in Europe. I, Rita Skeeter am a witch._

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_H: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also read 'Start of a New Life' by hp/charmed obsesed(aka me)and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


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